Bliss Beyond Naptime

The Lazy Mama's Way to Parent

Tonight I'm leading an introductory Simplicity Parenting workshop in town and was contemplating how I was going to share my most uncomplicated journey - ha! Where did this parenting business begin? Let's start at the very beginning... at that couple's yoga workshop in 2003. There we were in partner-assisted elephant's trunk pose... Or how about I just fast forward to my pregnancy stint with Edie?

Hanging out with a friend when I was pregnant with Edie she mentioned something that made my pregancy-enhanced bionic hearing ears perk up: I take the lazy mama approach to parenting. Intrigued I asked her to tell me more for as you can see by my ragamuffin appearance in that picture up there, even brushing my hair back then cut into my slack lining time.

Through this friend I was exposed to the world of home birth (no need to get off my lazy soon-to-be mama butt to drive to the hospital), co-sleeping (no need to lug out of bed to check in on munchkin throughout the night), and extended breastfeeding (so much easier just to pop out the boob!); you know, classic attachment parenting fodder. 

Funny enough those two words, lazy and approach, were what attracted Craig and I to the concept of permaculture where one works with nature to grow food by maximizing output with zero waste and minimal labour. You use plants and animals to do the work for you. Simplicity Parenting is kind of like permaculture. Instead of chickens though you have children.

Attachment parenting served well in helping me get much sleep and couch time as I slipped into my new role of Mama but then four years later when Kale was born there were some other principles I embraced that helped the transition from being a mama of one, to being a mama to two.

It took me some time but by then I started becoming aware of how we all thrived with keeping the toys, kid stuff and general clutter down to a mimimum at our home. Intuitively, the lazy mama in me realized that less stuff equals less of an investment in time and energy to tidy up at the end of the day.

Through trial and error the whole family thrived with a distinct rhythm to the day. This spoke my lazy mama language by releasing me from the mental energy of deciding what to do and when and was an effective means at keeping meltdowns to a minimum. Same applied with minimizing, and mostly eliminating screen time for the kids.

And then when Kale was born it become imperative that we keep close to home as much as possible, so I we kept our scheduling commitments to a minimum. We literally stayed home for forty plus days as we wallowed in the vibe of a fresh baby in the house and kept the environment as peaceful and rhtymic as possible; allowing Kale's own internal rhythmic pulse to settle to a strong, steady beat and for Edie's into this special status of being a big sister.

Though a neighbour confided in Craig that in his opinion it 'wasn't right' that I didn't want to leave the property for that long, it felt right and that, in a nutshell, is my interpretation of the premise behind Simplicity Parenting and what I hope this series will reawaken in the parents participating.

On that note, later this month I will be sharing with you my plans on bringing this workshop offering to you!  So you can take it from the comforts of your own home, in your pajamas, eating bon bons on your couch...

Bed Yoga Head

 

I was reminded recently of the power of even just a few minutes of yoga can have on the outlook  I hold for the rest of the day and for just simply getting reacquainted with my currently hormonally up heaved body. This reminder was then further reinforced during the latest session of my Kaizen Muse Creative Coaching training ~ which is zooming along super spanky and I looooooove it and can't wait to share all the tools I'm picking up along this amazing journey with you.

Yes ~ five minutes of yoga! Yes ~ five minutes of anything blissful you want to experience during your busy mama-ing day!

This Moment ~ Phat Cat Squishes

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. ~Amanda Soule

We Have Another Weaner

Here's a bit of a long winded (ha, ha) story. I mentioned a few posts past that I'd delve into my story of encountering a coyote on top of one our ladies (of the chicken variety). Basically I ran outside, screaming like a banshee to scare it away and ended up with a dead chicken, a sore throat for two days and finding myself behaving like the hugest cry baby for about a week afterward. Then (brace yourself, too much information coming at you) I got my moon so very soon after the last one. Like, a week after.

Upon holding an emergency meeting (code word: Operation Red Flag) with my ladies (of the non-chicken variety) some suggested maybe it's stress? Mmmm... nope, feeling as groovy as ever now that I assess my groove levels. Perhaps I may be going through the change? Mmmm... well...I suppose that that's technically a possibility, for I am in my (gulp) early forties now. But that didn't feel right either.

 

And then, thank God for Craig. He pointed out that I just recently weaned little Mr Kale this month. Totally forgot! This explains everything; my sloppy sentimentality over how fast the kids are growing up, my hair trigger tears in public places (I started crying at the fisherman's shop at the poster of him and his dad fishing together when he was little. Crazy lady!) and, of course, my way wonky menstruating rhythms.

Craig you're a genius! I'm not peri-pausal ~ Thank you, my lord! And then he says, in his classic barely can hear what he's saying but you can sense its profoundness whatever it is:

"it's systems analysis. It's what I do ".

Other than the temporary turn off that my husband sees my body akin to a blueprint of a compressor station, I felt a wave of relief from that insight. But then the thought rose up: whoa, I'm never going to nurse a baby again (other than if I decide to pull a Salma Hayek - love her!).

 

But what I'm especially feeling quite, oh what's the word... blissed out about? Is that this weaning business went so super smooth. I tried weaning Edie once when she was about two, after reading a Steiner-related writing about the recommended time to wean being around one and any longer and the child begins to tap into the mother's energetic baggage.

Yuck. Didn't want that to happen. But that attempt turned out to be such an upsetting disaster. I remember deciding then that for me, it didn't feel worth going down that road unless I felt with absolute conviction I was done with that relationship. I felt she picked up on my wishy washiness and that made all the difference. In the end, Edie pretty much weaned herself in the same manner as her brother. No tears or fanfare and, funny enough, around the same age-  though I have friends whose kid has decided on their own in a similar fashion at a much younger age.

With Kale I started with drawing up boundaries: first no more boob at the restaurant, then no more after we brush our teeth for bedtime.  Then he started to get more caught up in his play during the day and forgetting and then finally leading up to only asking before bed. Which brings us to today, which I didn't even notice until Craig drew up that line, bar then pie chart for me, he's done and didn't even bother to tell me (well, come to think of it he kind of did one day but I thought he was joking). Sniff. Now, next parenting milestone up: when is he going to wean himself off of that recorder he's got so solidly glued to his mouth these days?

Sacred Connection Time

 

During my simplicity parenting workshop this weekend we were exploring our personal parenting style. Parenting styles can morph with time, experience, life. For instance, with Edie we were way less structured and super attached as in she went where we went, stayed up as late as we did, slept in until whenever. With Kale, now that I think about it, our approach has taken a complete 180. So much so at times it feels our days have a tinge of the Groundhog Day effect (the Bill Murray movie from the nineties; not being easily spooked by our shadows).

When Craig asked me what I got up to while he was away all week all that really stood out was make breakfast, clean up, make lunch, clean up, make dinner, clean up and get the kids in bed. Of course there were in between highlights but that there is the heartbeat of our lives together and I love it and, to be honest, in some aspects was what I clung to to keep from losing it while Craig was gone.

But what I especially love in our daily rhythm is getting to hang out with Craig once the kids are tucked in, safe at sound, lights out at 8:00 (I am striving to ease this more toward seven so we can enjoy even more hang out time. Mama gets sleepy by 9:00 these days!).

I was hoping to capture a rich exchange between Craig and I about this special time in our lives but he says doesn't want to 'be in the cloud' (paranoia will destroya I told him), so instead I had to play his role. Again.

What do you do once the kids are in bed? If you simply pass out like I used to, do you have another time for connection with your partner?

Mum's The Word (The Fun Word)

Craig has been away for work all week long and last night he arrived home, safe, sound and so deliriously tired he couldn't stop hugging me. Luckily he doesn't have to go away too often but when he has to I'm noticing this time alone on the farm with two kids seems like it takes less sweat. Mabye because the munchkins are getting a bit older? Or Mama's getting hardier (strong like ox style)?

Before Craig's coming home, I was determined to do something terribly not in my Mama nature. Something fun. Like Dada-style fun. Sure, I win the fun crown in events like puppet shows and family break dance circles but in terms of sporty flavoured pursuits he wins, hands down, each time. So I bit the bullet and told the kids "we're going skiing together" and after the immediate chorus of "yay's" I discovered another tool for any lazy mama emergencies - say it out loud then there's no going back.

Edie is a spectacular cross country skier these days. She not only keeps up but surpasses me. Sometimes so far I have to holler for her to wait up at times (mind you I had the impediment of Kale's sled strapped to my belly. With all them hand knit layers he's one heavy little lug). While skiing I was thinking about this pace we were taking; me slowed down by Kale's layers, stopping to take pictures, Kale hucking himself off the sled to point at rocks (look at that rock, with snow on it. No, that one!) and pondering how at this age this is the way to go. This is the cadence they need to wholly digest the world around them.

Right before this little adventure I finished wrapping up the preparation for my Saturday morning simplicity parenting session number six - Filtering Out. It was fresh in my brains the concept of how at this tender age to not only be mindful of the impression that media leaves but how easily all the stimuli around accumulates and how careful we need to be to ensure that our kids remain comfortable in their environment to really relax into their authentic, quirky selves.

One of the suggestions in this chapter that I was particularly taking into consideration on this outing was "the more you say, the less you are listening". I tried to not say too much and instead just kept it to what was "true, kind, necessary".

 

"Please don't fall into the river" was the phrase that seemed to be the only optly necessary a few times as snowball hucking became the fun time activity of choice. Other than that, noone said more than a few words this whole escapade. It was magic. Golden Moment even.

And, speaking of Fun Mum, here are the next two pit stops for the Bliss Filled Mama Blog tour you can visit and enter to win a copy  of my fresh off the paperless presses: Homespun Waldorf and Sistermama Gets Real . Thank you to Sarah for hosting both of these stops today. I am at a loss for words.

And that ends our official week of blog tour but there are still a few interested mamas that are excited to share the gospel of Mama bliss with their readers. I will be sharing these upcoming posts and any further giveaways in the weeks to come. Have a great, blissful weekend!

This Moment ~ Butt Massage

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. ~Amanda Soule

I'm going to have to interupt this usually "mum" moment to bring to you today's Bliss Filled Mama Blog Tour. Check out Melanie's Meli-Mello and Karen's Daily Dialect for more insight on keeping a mama's bliss filled to the brim and chances to win a copy of my musings. I'll be back tomorrow with more stops!

X-treme Sewing

It was four o'clock on a Tuesday afternoon. If you've read The Bliss Filled Mama you know that's typically the time I get my supper making on. While I was chopping away I started daydreaming about my blog and what I should post for SS Wednesday due the next day.

A little background to my state of mind at the moment: I have been alone on the farm all week with two small children, a slowly diminishing chicken population (had to chase a coyote off one of them last week - I'll share that full story for a vlog episode to gift you  the full on experience complete with the audio of my mama bear yodelling), cows and (ahem) my moon (there's a rich story on that one too. Sorry to any men in the audience).

And then a thought hit my iron depleted brain at 4:15 exactly. I wondered if I could whip up quickly one of those bat wing tops (Burda 7866) while spaghetti sauce simmers. Please note that we eat promptly at 5:00. Especially when Craig's out of town because if we don't stay on schedule our whole strawbale house of cards may collapse. But man I guess I must love a challenge!

I ran upstairs and then couldn't decided to make a blue one or a yellow one so I decided to really give myself some extra heart palpitations for good measure and piled the two fabrics one top of the other, placed the two pattern pieces on top (that's all) and went for it with Mama's special scissors and her super speedy serger.

I'm happy to report these two got done by 5:15. This of course caused a domino effect of the collapse of our previously laid out schedule (I allowed the kids to sleep in an extra 15 minutes in the morning to get over the trauma) but it was so worth it!

I admit I haven't finished the sleeve or bottom hems yet but those can wait a few days with these non-fraying knits I used. While I was making these I was just on the cusp on doing something kind of wild and crazy but Edie stopped me right in the nick of time. I was considering switching up the two hip yokes so I can have license to call this post "Colour Block Party" but Edie yelled at the top of her little lungs "Don't do it!". So X-treme Sewing it is instead.

The kids were having lunch as I was playing with the self timer of the camera to get living proof of the speedy crafty Mommy feat I just pulled off. Mama was hamming it up some, still riding that high from whipping up two tops in just under and hour while Edie was expressing a sweetly concerned empathetic embarassment for me by gently saying "don't do that" over and over again. Little love.

And what you see in that last photo is my sharing what's lurking behind the curtain. I shared the nightmare of the front entrance closest in this video house tour  last year. Just wanted to let you know I decided to not embrace the sty of an eye sore but instead, I admitted to myself, I have something to hide, it's called a mess, and utilized this magical tool instead called a curtain.

And speaking of the opposite of eye sore - the next two stops of the blog tour are exactly not that (how's that for a segue?) Please visit the mind blowingly beautiful bloggy digs of Maya at Maya Made and the too funny for words Dana of Zonapelucida for more inspiring bliss bits and a chance to win one a copy of The Bliss Filled Mama ebook. Thank you so much for hosting today Maya and Dana!

Insta Poet. And You Know It.

I used to worry I was controlling
I used to believe life was busy

I used to wish I was kinder
patient
focused.

Then one day
I looked out my window
and saw a tree

a frozen
perfect
perfect tree.

I nearly choked
on the epiphany

we arrive inside
an envelope
of bones

there is nothing to be done
about this

so fill it with strength
let it brim
with courage.

Not bad, hey? You too can be a poet laureate. I found this instapoem generator through a Danielle Laporte email this morning. Great way to start the day in a DIY kind of way. See? I can't stop! PS that tree is our old man. He resides in the cedar forest above our house. Quietly keeping watch.

Welcome to day three of our magical blog tour toot tooting the bliss horn of my new ebook, The Bliss Filled Mama. Head on over to today's stops, Joy of Mommying and Studio Mothers, and leave them a comment to enter the realm of possibility of winning a copy of the ebook and its accompanying audio recording. Thank you so much Ruth and Miranda for hosting today!

 

Valentime

A lovely crafting frenzy happened here at the kitchen table this weekend in preparation for Valentine's Day.  Due to this being Edie's first time in a school flavoured environment she was particularly excited about making all seven of her classmates a special card from scratch, with unique drawings in each, and put it on their desks before they arrive. The cuteness is too much at times I tell you (as was the pressure to get there before anyone else!).

I couldn't restrain from keeping away from the crafting energy pulling me away from my dinner making duties. I decided to get to work on a project tutored by a tutorial posted by the ever inspirational Dottie Angel. In her own words, this project is "easy peasy" and "a jolly thing to do". Ack! Love her peachiness.

What fun, it involves ripping out pages from a book! I always secretly wanted to do that. Sorry Lenny but I had to dive into your juicy pages for this romantic project. Second half of the fun was getting to sew all round the pages. Have you ever tried sewing through paper on a  sewing machine before? Looks so pretty so quickly and something about the sound of the needle crunching through - you should try it sometime.

I felt like I was three or five years old myself, sitting among the cutting and gluing energy of my excited little crafters.  Much Valentine happiness going around and excitement around giving (though I did take pauses once in a while to read some of Leonard's excitement around getting if you catch my steamy drift). Playing with paper and glue for me was a nice change in crafty pace; rejuvenating even.

Busy happy bees were we. And speaking of buzz; here are the next two stops to the Bliss Filled Mama Ebook Book Tour! Amylynn from Farm Girl Studio and Teena from Little Bird by Funky Mommy - my ladies :) Be sure to check out their bliss oozing posts where you can perhaps even get a chance to enter to win a copy of my fresh out of the oven ebook. Good luck and Happy Valentine's sweet friends!